This is another article submitted (and not accepted)… you guys sent so much great feedback about my last one I wanted to share this too! We’ll talk about why the rejection was GREAT and all that next week…
When I wanted to strike out on my own and try to make a name for myself my friend laughed. She said I couldn’t be serious, that I had no good ideas, and that nobody would ever be giving me money to do the work I envisioned. Didn’t I see? I needed to work in a corporate setting and take other people’s ideas and recycle them. I couldn’t be an innovative independent creative woman.
I had a Rory Gilmore vs Mitchum Huntzberger “I guess I don’t have what it takes” moment and I wondered if she might be right. If I was delusional and without talent. Then a few weeks later I saw that she was using my ideas in her upcoming project. It was like the plot of Working Girl but without any Harrison Ford or skiing accidents.
That day, I stood up and got to work.
I knocked on every door, mailed letters to everyone who might be interested in the freelance work I could offer, and I kept putting myself and my ideas (good and bad) out there. Every time I thought about giving up I remembered that incident and used it to fuel my quest for greatness.
In the decade since that fateful day I’ve had my share of failures and total bombs, but I’ve also had success too. While the naysayers can indeed put you down, you can also use them to your advantage and take their negativity, keep working, and move ahead to places they can’t even begin to dream of.
Play it safe gal
This gal means well because at heart she really doesn’t want you to fail. If possible, she’d wrap everyone in foam and make sure no sharp edges existed so the chance of hurting onself was minimized. The problem here is – no risk no reward! Sometimes a good suggestion or compromise can be made brainstorming with a play it safe gal – just listen to them in moderation.
Whether she realizes it or not, jealous girl can’t let you have anything better than what she’s already had. She might convince you to give up because “he’s just not into you” even when he so is. She might jab at your capabilities to hold you back. It is important when someone is spewing hateful words or giving you poisonous words aimed at sabotaging you that you pause and think about what they’re saying and why. It’s 100% about her, and not at all about you or what you can accomplish. Any way around it – there’s no room for jealous girl in your life.
Say the sky is blue she will tell you about the dangers of cancer. Tell her you’re going to start your own business she will start quoting failure rates. Let her know you’re going to have a baby she’ll start in with the horror labor stories. Doesn’t matter what you’re doing – this woman will find a way to put a spin on it that is negative. You can’t afford to be hanging around someone who will try and add negativity into your life – but don’t worry she’ll find a fun way to put a negative spin on your cutting her out.
She gets pleasure from being mean, from cutting down or holding back her fellow females. Maybe she has jealousy or insecurity issues, perhaps she’s miserable in life, or maybe she just gets her jollies from seeing what kind of havoc she can reap on other ladies lives. Mean girls are dangerous because their sneak attacks, ability to sense and exploit weaknesses, and cutting words can be more damaging than we know. We’ve all seen the movie (and if you haven’t you need to) – so keep your eyes peeled for Regina George.
You may also run across the boss who wants to claim your work as her own. It could be a well-meaning friend or cranky relative – the naysayers are everywhere in this world. But wait! Don’t let that boss walk off with your idea and your man. Grab hold of your inner Tess McGill and take another look at what you want to accomplish.
Positive people, women who are trying to uplift, inspire, and generally help out are all around. I look for the people who encourage and cheer me on, who shout “yes!” and enthusiastically support whatever idea I may be dreaming up. When I find these people I hold onto them and cherish them and give them as much positive feedback as I can because I’ve learned what a true gift that kind of positive reinforcement can mean to a person.
So the universe is going to cast some mean girls and negative women in the story of my life. Well ok, then I’ll be sure to cast myself as the hardworking and inspired heroine who the audience is rooting for. Maybe I don’t have a big audience, perhaps I won’t ever be anything anyone would call a sensation, but I can believe in myself. I can set an example for myself and others to smile, be kind, and believe in myself and the ideas my wacky brain comes up with. I can try, fail, laugh, fall, and maybe find some success along the way too.