About four years ago I was sitting between two very fit and trim friends and I couldn’t have been more insecure.
“I’m fat because I can’t eat bananas!” I heard myself blurt out during a favorite healthy snack conversation. Both ladies smiled and were sympathetic but even as the words settled back into my brain I heard how idiotic I was. Defensive after a doctor’s visit where I was input as “obese” I was explaining to these women – fitness professionals actually – that I couldn’t be more trim because bananas made me gag and therefore weren’t edible to me.
It was one of my lamer moments, and one of my biggest realizations.
Every time I picked crackers or other useless carbs, every time I filled up on more cheese or had a sugary pure fruit smoothie I soothed myself by blaming a freaking banana.
The next day I put a ½ of a banana in my lunch smoothie and hated it. I repeated this every day until I didn’t mind. Eventually I worked my way up to microscopic bits of banana being in my cereal. After several months I was able to eat a small bite directly from the banana. Today I still dislike bananas, but I can, if necessary, eat one slowly.
These days I watch out for banana peels aka things I’m holding up as excuses. I hit one last fall in the form of telling myself it wasn’t my fault – I simply couldn’t draw anything good. I’ve been working on that a lot and today I painted a path + trees + lady that I did not hate.
note this is just a peek… the whole piece is for my Art in your Journal class currently happening at craftwithmay.com
Tiny, microscopic, little efforts every day add up my friends. And whether you’re trying to learn to be ok with the foul fruit that is banana and not gag (seriously. So foul.) or wanting to learn a new skill just make that one thing a priority, try a little each day, and don’t give up.