This is another article submitted (and not accepted)… you guys sent so much great feedback about my last one I wanted to share this too! We’ll talk about why the rejection was GREAT and all that next week…
When I wanted to strike out on my own and try to make a name for myself my friend laughed. She said I couldn’t be serious, that I had no good ideas, and that nobody would ever be giving me money to do the work I envisioned. Didn’t I see? I needed to work in a corporate setting and take other people’s ideas and recycle them. I couldn’t be an innovative independent creative woman.
I had a Rory Gilmore vs Mitchum Huntzberger “I guess I don’t have what it takes” moment and I wondered if she might be right. If I was delusional and without talent. Then a few weeks later I saw that she was using my ideas in her upcoming project. It was like the plot of Working Girl but without any Harrison Ford or skiing accidents.
That day, I stood up and got to work.
I knocked on every door, mailed letters to everyone who might be interested in the freelance work I could offer, and I kept putting myself and my ideas (good and bad) out there. Every time I thought about giving up I remembered that incident and used it to fuel my quest for greatness.
In the decade since that fateful day I’ve had my share of failures and total bombs, but I’ve also had success too. While the naysayers can indeed put you down, you can also use them to your advantage and take their negativity, keep working, and move ahead to places they can’t even begin to dream of.
Play it safe gal
This gal means well because at heart she really doesn’t want you to fail. If possible, she’d wrap everyone in foam and make sure no sharp edges existed so the chance of hurting onself was minimized. The problem here is – no risk no reward! Sometimes a good suggestion or compromise can be made brainstorming with a play it safe gal – just listen to them in moderation.
Whether she realizes it or not, jealous girl can’t let you have anything better than what she’s already had. She might convince you to give up because “he’s just not into you” even when he so is. She might jab at your capabilities to hold you back. It is important when someone is spewing hateful words or giving you poisonous words aimed at sabotaging you that you pause and think about what they’re saying and why. It’s 100% about her, and not at all about you or what you can accomplish. Any way around it – there’s no room for jealous girl in your life.
Say the sky is blue she will tell you about the dangers of cancer. Tell her you’re going to start your own business she will start quoting failure rates. Let her know you’re going to have a baby she’ll start in with the horror labor stories. Doesn’t matter what you’re doing – this woman will find a way to put a spin on it that is negative. You can’t afford to be hanging around someone who will try and add negativity into your life – but don’t worry she’ll find a fun way to put a negative spin on your cutting her out.
She gets pleasure from being mean, from cutting down or holding back her fellow females. Maybe she has jealousy or insecurity issues, perhaps she’s miserable in life, or maybe she just gets her jollies from seeing what kind of havoc she can reap on other ladies lives. Mean girls are dangerous because their sneak attacks, ability to sense and exploit weaknesses, and cutting words can be more damaging than we know. We’ve all seen the movie (and if you haven’t you need to) – so keep your eyes peeled for Regina George.
You may also run across the boss who wants to claim your work as her own. It could be a well-meaning friend or cranky relative – the naysayers are everywhere in this world. But wait! Don’t let that boss walk off with your idea and your man. Grab hold of your inner Tess McGill and take another look at what you want to accomplish.
Positive people, women who are trying to uplift, inspire, and generally help out are all around. I look for the people who encourage and cheer me on, who shout “yes!” and enthusiastically support whatever idea I may be dreaming up. When I find these people I hold onto them and cherish them and give them as much positive feedback as I can because I’ve learned what a true gift that kind of positive reinforcement can mean to a person.
So the universe is going to cast some mean girls and negative women in the story of my life. Well ok, then I’ll be sure to cast myself as the hardworking and inspired heroine who the audience is rooting for. Maybe I don’t have a big audience, perhaps I won’t ever be anything anyone would call a sensation, but I can believe in myself. I can set an example for myself and others to smile, be kind, and believe in myself and the ideas my wacky brain comes up with. I can try, fail, laugh, fall, and maybe find some success along the way too.
22 thoughts on “Beware the mean girls…”
What? No good ideas? pah! to that. IIm glad you proved that particular statement wrong 🙂
I think real success is about what you described: being an example to other people and inspiring them to live a better, more creative life. You’ve certainly inspired me, and I know I’m not the only one. Thank you for this reminder to rise above the broken-ness of other people. You’re a class act, May.
May, I love how you are the positive gal who inspires and lifts others up. Thanks for sharing.
You rock! And I can’t believe this wasn’t picked up. But that’s ok. You’re a talented writer, and I’m so happy to have been reading you’re submitting articles for publication. (Please keep me posted on that Somerset piece. It was Somerset? Yeah I think). Anyway, great article, May, and I agree that you’re definitely the positive go for it gal in our lives. Thanks for sharing. Michelle t
true, true, true. and if someone we love is acting this way, we need to be courageous enough to have a thoughtful conversation with them about it, because if they love us, they will want to be a positive force in our lives not a negative one. Keep calling it the way you see it, May, because it’s refreshing!
i love this! It always amazes me at how so unadult adults can be.
That was AWESOME May!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You are an inspiration.
Loved it May. Thank you and keep the inspirational writing coming.
You are creative and talented.
Boy, she was not a keeper!!
I hope you do find the success you are craving – but I already consider you a success.
Happy for you, in that you were able to see you’re own awesomeness.
Awesome article! I’m learning more and more to surround myself with people who wish to support me and not those who want to take me down! Very insightful article…thank you! Keep up the great work!:-)
Thanks for a great article May. It brings back memories of those who have done the same to me. Glad you were able to see it for what it was. I was not so strong, but am encouraged and will try again. And give you lots of positive feedback. ;o)
Love it May!
Keep these inspiring articles coming!
Wow, May. You really hit the nail on the head with this one. Your words are so true And so inspiring. Thanks for sharing your talents and wisdom with all of us and never giving up. Ive always looked up to you and your accomplishments over the years. You are indeed a sensation to me!
May, I’m so glad you didn’t anyone stop you and that you used it to fuel your fire and creative passion. I love your beautiful spirit and happy, positive, kind and sharing nature! I have watched many of your videos and taken quiet a few of your classes and all of them have made me a more daring artist because I watch you be daring and have fun; make mistakes with humor and even excitement because they become something even more beautiful and if not you always have a way to fix and move on. Thank you for being you and sharing yourself and your art with us.
Amen to that!!!! Thanks for staying true to yourself. People will catch on if you’re not genuine. You are a class act May!!!
i AGREE WITH YOU 100%. ALL WOMEN SHOULD BE SUPPORTING EACH OTHER GOOD OR BAD. LIKE MY MOTHER ALL WAYS USE TO SAY IF YOU DON’T HAVE ANYTHING NICE TO SAY THEN DON’T SAY ANYTHING. AND I HAVE BEEN ENJOYING YOUR WORK KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK.
I’m just glad that you did not listen to your “friend” a decade ago. Oh, boy, was she ever wrong! (Hope you do not still consider her a friend). I’m always inspired by your go for it attitude, talent and willingness to share inspiration…….love your ability to make cards, layouts, mixed media, art journal and enjoy the process and journey along the way. You are always learning and growing. Thank you for your blog and classes!
Wonderful share – Thanks!!
Positive breeds positive – it’s as simple as that really.
I haven’t even read the whole blog post yet, but I just have to ask “are you sure that person was actually a friend?”
OK, I’ve read the post/article now! Love it! Love how you keep positive – that’s one of the best things about you – and we haven’t ever met in real life! But you are just creative and fun and smart and that’s the kind of friend you deserve to be surrounded with!
Love what you wrote! You’re such a nice person and a great teacher. Love that you’re so true.
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